Do you need advice on how to deal with obstinate elderly parents? In their advanced years, your parents will change in a variety of ways. There are some of them that are unpleasant for the parent or anyone nearby.
One of the most difficult situations is the elderly’s propensity to be difficult and stubborn when it comes to adapting to change and the demands that their advanced age has placed on them.
The question, therefore, remains: how do you deal with stubborn aging parents without letting their new reality affect your relationship and without putting them in danger.
Read more: What to Do When Elderly Parents Refuse Help? – Elder VIP
Why Are Old People Stubborn?
Someone who is stubborn will not change their opinion or a decision they have made. People with strong opinions and convictions are adamant about holding onto them. Additionally, they are extremely resistant to change, especially when it is imposed on them by others. Understanding the unique causes, situations, and environments of each person is necessary to comprehend why the elderly seem to be more stubborn.
Lack of Communication
Communication is crucial for any relationship to be successful. In addition to speaking, you communicate with your loved ones through your attitude and body language. When your parents don’t take heed of your advice for their safety, it might make matters worse if you interact negatively or react with hostility.
Poor communication breeds misconceptions, the false sense of being able to read people’s minds, and a propensity for making snap judgments. It’s natural to worry, fear, and feel concerned when you don’t know what’s happening with your family. But keep in mind that disagreements can easily occur in these situations, and you might think your loved ones are being unreasonable. It’s important to speak to your family member as you would like to be spoken to. Make an effort to be gentle!
Not Adapting to Changing Forms of Identity
People who are stubborn tend to be adamant about their opinions, beliefs, and preferences. They find it intolerable when others disagree with them because it proves their position was flawed to begin with. They become so rigid that they are threatened by those who disagree with their beliefs and don’t even want to consider other people’s viewpoints.
This is comparable to pain aversion in some ways. A person’s social development can be stunted by this kind of stubbornness, which also has an adverse effect on interpersonal relationships. Some people even go so far as to completely shun those who disagree with them in order to live in their emotional bubble. Or perhaps it’s because of their strong sense of self.
Want to Maintain Independence
Losing independence may alienate seniors because it gives them a sense of purpose. Some people might think that their autonomy is the only thing they can control, and they might think that people who are self-sufficient are more empowered and motivated to lead fulfilling lives.
Be Afraid to Change
The autonomy and sense of control over their lives that older people once had is often being taken away from them. This is due to the time that their medical issues are consuming. as a result of their general increase in fragility. They view acting inflexibly and stubbornly as a means of preserving their autonomy.
The fear of change is an additional factor to consider. It’s never simple to change your ways, and getting older makes it even harder. The parents’ routine will need to change as they get older, and their children may rebel if they are afraid of the changes.
8 Tips to Deal With Stubborn Old People
Stay Calm
Your parents may be aware of the difficulties they are facing on some level, so it may be safer for them to avoid talking about the future than to face reality. Speaking to them lovingly and tenderly while expressing your concerns can reassure them that change will be alright.
Be Persistent
When dealing with elderly parents, patience and persistence are key to having productive conversations. Keep in mind that nothing should be resolved in a single sitting if that is your expectation going in. You’ll probably need to talk to your parents about your worries several times, so have patience. The senior you care about may unnecessarily experience loss of control anxiety if you give them too much information in one conversation. And if your loved one has dementia or another cognitive disorder, they might be unable to process a lot of information at once.
Spend More Time With Them
Even though you might not have much free time, try spending more of it with your parents (assuming your relationship with them is not strained). Your parents will probably appreciate a little more attention as they get older. If they understand that you are prioritizing the relationship rather than trying to fit it into a busy schedule, your interactions might even become more peaceful.
Ask Questions
Instead of talking at your parents, talk to them by involving them in the conversation. Start by posing open-ended inquiries (such as, why don’t you want your cousin a visit from Mary to prepare your meals?). In the best-case scenario, this strategy might enable them to consider their circumstances and determine that a change is actually necessary.
Treat Your Aging Parents Like Adults
If you start treating your parents like the child in the relationship instead of as your parents, it may feel awkward for both of you. Keep in mind that your parents are adults and should be treated accordingly. Focus on empowering them during your conversations by offering them a variety of options and allowing them to participate in all decisions.
Focus on the Benefits
Always keep in mind the advantages of your suggested solution. If assisted living is the solution, for instance, highlight the range of social and recreational activities that these communities provide.
Outline the Consequences
Inform your parents of the potential repercussions of their actions if they are still adamant about staying in their four-bedroom home or continuing to drive. Avoid using harsh language or treating them like children. Instead, admonish them that what they do affects more than just their family. “Mom, I love you and want you to be independent, but I also don’t want that independence to come at the cost of hurting someone because of a car accident you cause” can be a potent wake-up call.
Talk to Their Doctor
In the event that all else fails, speak with your parent’s physician and express your concern for their health. The final person your parents will listen to for advice may be a medical professional.
Final Thoughts
A sense of role reversal develops as a parent age and enters their later years, where they start to act more like a parent to their own parent. The change is challenging because the senior is an adult with rights and preferences of their own. The difficulties will lessen over time as the parent and caregiver establish a routine and discover what works best. The biggest piece of advice that I can give you is to approach the situation with love and understanding.
FAQs
What is Bad Behavior of the Elderly?
In most elderly individuals, behaviors are a symptom of distress. Seniors who are angry about growing older, dealing with chronic pain, losing friends, struggling with memory loss, becoming incontinent, or any other unseemly aspect of aging may become angry at the aging process itself.
What is the Most Difficult Thing for Elderly People to Deal With?
As a person gets older, their mobility and dexterity naturally deteriorate, making it harder to complete daily tasks. This can gradually make people care for themselves and keep them from engaging in social interactions, pursuing interests, or enjoying activities.
